Bored in the Dorm

One night, at exactly 11:30 pm, Nimpa, a female cockroach, was sneaking her way in their little hideout. Her mother caught her and said, “It’s late! Where did you come from?”
She didn’t say a word but her mother had a suspicion that she was with her boyfriend, Dado Butike. Her mother told her that she must not see Dado again.
She reacted in an emotional way saying, “But ma, I loved him so much. I can’t afford to lose him.”
Her mother suggested that she must love a male cockroach for it is the same species that are destined for each other. She wanted Nimpa to love Celso, a cockroach who is courting Nimpa.
But Nimpa insisted, “I love him. No one can change that! Dado! Dado! Dado forever!”
This is how boring our life in the dormitory. We can’t do anything useful or productive. When we are in study table, some organisms are joining our agony. We usually make stories about them just like the paragraphs above. Somehow, it gives meaning to the time I am losing inside my room.
These organisms are member of our family inside UP dormitories. It is like symbiotic relationship. They interact with us in our mini-ecosystem. They always visit us every night and fly around the room. We are irritated but their too fast. You can’t just catch and smash their body.
The sound of lizards gives us rock music every night. It is very irritating. Some mosquitoes might sneak inside our room, too, and suck our precious blood. This is what our life in dormitory. These cute and fascinating organisms give it a little meaning.

Saleslady blushed at me

It is very nice to spend some leisure time in the mall. Actually, it is just a window-shopping that people, usually students, do whenever they go to a mall. But one time, my friends and I have a different story.
Our purpose is just to eat and play games on Time Zone. But one of my friends invited us to look at some clothes and shoes. We don’t have money so we just went there for a usual window-shopping.
As we are looking at the clothes and shoes, a saleslady approached me and asked what I want. I just ignored her.
We went on another stall to look for more. And again a sales lady asked me what I want. I ignored her again. I looked on the shoes and try to fit it to my foot. The same saleslady asked me of what I want.
I was so irritated! I looked at her and suddenly, words came out of my mouth, “Pag-unawa at pagmamahal ang kailangan ko.” The talkative saleslady did not say a word as a reply. I saw in her eyes that she was ashamed. She blushed at me. I nearly laugh that time. I just said that it was a joke to lessen her embarrassment.
My friends saw what happened. We went to department store to escape. Holy smoke! Another saleslady asked us of what we want. And as expected, I tried again my killer reply which I saw from a text message, “Pag-unawa at pagmamahal ang kailangan namen.” The saleslady blushed. We slowly walked out and laugh outside the store. What supposed to be a playing time in a mall became playing fun to other people.

Menudo and Diatabs, Synonymous?

You looked at your watch. The class is still far from over. Your terror professor told you that no one gets out of the room until everyone has finished answering the exam. Tiny drops of cold sweat are pouring slowly from your head. You are turning pale. You wanted to approach your professor and tell him your problem but you were afraid to do so.
There is something inside you that wanted to go out. It is like a demon in your interior body punishing you with so much pain. You tried to determine what the cause of this burden is.
You cannot concentrate on the exam. It is like your mind is twisting apart. The letters in your exam paper is laughing at you. You thought that you are hallucinating because of so much pain.
You forced yourself to stay focus and alert. You tried to remember what you have taken into your body that caused this miserable grief.
But wait, you felt something. It is forcing its way out of your body. You tried your best to stop it but it’s useless. You have no choice but to release it in the room. You were so thankful that it is only the gas particles, not the solid ones.
This happiness did not last. Your seatmate reacted, “What is that unpleasant smell?” You wanted to shut her and her big mouth. You wanted to curse her. The other girl also reacted. There’s too many of them. You just decided to play innocent. At that point, you have discovered that you might be a Hollywood star someday.
You scanned your memory, trying to remember who sold to you the poisonous food that triggered your agony. You remember that fat woman at the back of engineering building that they call “Manang Eng”. She sold to you a three day old “menudo”. At first, you were not aware of her food recycling processes. That devil woman must be punished! You cursed her!
At last, your class is finished. You ran into your dormitory and went in the comfort room. You remember that you wanted to take “diatabs” yesterday because you have a problem in your digestive system. You realized that the “menudo” is somehow beneficial. It acted like the medicines. After long hours of struggle in the comfort room, you were so relieved. You went to your bed and rest in peace. What a day!

Wow! Shrimp!

I never thought that the word “shrimp” would be used to describe. I first heard this word used to insult but not to describe a physical appearance.
I heard it from my old friend in high school. When we were sitting along a pathway, he suddenly said, “Oh, another shrimp!” looking at a sexy girl. I never understood what he meant by that. I looked at the girl and she has really hot body. What I knew about the meaning of shrimp in informal language is that somebody small or insignificant.
He explained it to me in a funny way. He said that when you eat a shrimp, you don’t necessarily eat the head. You throw it away and just eat the body. The same goes with the lady we saw: she has a nice body but an ugly face.
My friend also calls her “taliko-genic” which means beautiful at the back but unpleasant in front.
Boys also give score when they see a woman walking along. The scoring system is one to nine for hot babes and negative one to negative nine for those who has unpleasant appearance.
It is really mean! However it is only for men. So if you’re a woman and you heard something like “hipon”, try to know if you are the victim.